Every business owner needs to SHU!

I went to the dentist this week.

And no, I was not relaxed about it at all 😱

Dentistry is my personal phobia – probably thanks to what I like to call New Zealand Dental Nurse Trauma Syndrome. (Yes, I made that name up, but if you were a Kiwi kid in the ’70s, you KNOW.)

Back then, you’d be sitting in class, minding your own business, when suddenly – BAM! – a prior victim would walk in with a note with your name on it – it was your turn for the dental clinic. You never knew when it was coming, so you were in perpetual fear!

But this experience? Completely different. Still nerve-wracking? Absolutely. Still deeply unpleasant? Totally. But what my new dentist did completely changed the experience.

And it’s something every business owner needs to understand.

More than know, like, trust… we need SHU.

We’re always told that business success comes down to the “know, like & trust” factor.

✅ Be visible.

✅ Show up consistently.

✅ Share your expertise and results.

✅ Build authority, and people will buy.

And yes, these points are all important. But starting here means you’re skipping a step.

Because before people can trust you, they need to feel something even more fundamental:

Seen, heard, and understood. (SHU)

This is a biological imperative. It’s not just a social nicety; it’s wired into us.

Because back in the day, if you didn’t belong to the group? You were out. And if you were out? Well… let’s be honest, you were likely toast.

This is one of the foundational reasons we crave connection. Feeling invisible, a face in the crowd, an “Avatar” in a fledging business relationship will practically guarantee a short-term transaction rather than a building block in a long-term relationship.

It’s why we need to feel that someone gets us before we can even consider trusting them.

And that brings me back to my dentist.

How she built instant trust (and what you can learn from it)

Two core moments were responsible for my rehabilitated dental attitude.

Moment #1: Instant connection.

While answering the standard intake questions, I casually mentioned my ADHD diagnosis and how emotional dysregulation can make situations like this a LOT harder.

Her young assistant reached out, put a hand on my forearm, and said: “Yeah, me too. I was diagnosed not long ago – it really does make a difference, doesn’t it?”

With that tiny acknowledgment, she built a bridge. I exhaled and stepped onto it. Nothing was magically fixed, I still had to face the music. But in that moment, I felt seen. Heard. Understood.

Moment #2: Undivided attention.

Just as the dentist was about to start, I suddenly remembered one last thing I wanted to say.

She could have hovered mid-air with the tools, waiting for me to hurry up. She could have half-listened while prepping her next move (something I have definitely experienced before).

But instead? She put everything down. Turned fully to face me. And gave me her complete, undivided attention.

That intentional presence made all the difference.

Because she wasn’t just listening. She was making it clear that what I had to say mattered.

My jangled nerves jangled a little less.

What this means for YOUR business

It’s easy to get caught up in the strategies, the marketing, the social media content calendars.

But before people will ever “know, like, and trust” you… They need to know that you get them.

So today, I’m asking myself:

• Where can I be even more intentional about making my clients feel truly heard?
• How do I ensure they feel deeply understood – not just professionally, but personally
• Where can I create micro-moments of connection that make all the difference?

And I encourage you to ask yourself the same.

Because people don’t just buy expertise, they buy warmth and connection.

How to bring more SHU into your business

Making your clients feel seen, heard, and understood doesn’t require a major overhaul.

It can be as simple as:

• Pausing before responding– making sure they feel heard instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
• Acknowledging their emotions and experiences – especially when they’re feeling stuck.
• Tailoring your communication style to their needs – not just what’s easiest for you.

And most importantly… doing business in a way that feels genuinely human.

Because trust isn’t built in the big, polished moments and spectacular strategies. It’s built through the little things.

Warmly,

Angela