It’s around this time when festivities have begun to fade into the background and the new year looms large that we can begin to feel a bit edgy.
Our thoughts can be a bit of a whirlwind.
One minute you might be feeling all fired up with a vision, a plan, and energy to burn for what you want to achieve in 2024.
And yet the next you can feel a pull back towards the status quo because change can be daunting.
Often you have no shortage of ideas, but which one to choose, how to actually bring it to life, and where to start?
There is OODLES of research that tells us New Year resolutions are seldom successful in the long run.
Why is that? I think there are 4 main causes.
1. We often set our expectations a bit too high.
2. We don’t plan for the inevitable hiccups.
3. We retain our old identity even though we want change.
4. We try and go it alone.
So, what can you do?
Here are some useful Self-leadership tactics for addressing each of these challenges in case any of them are nipping at your heels.
Expectations
I was chatting with a friend this week who was berating herself for breaking her strict Keto diet with a cookie binge after 9 days of strong willpower. We spent some time exploring how her original goal of perfect adherence to the eating plan was a bit too high of an expectation and softened it going forward.
When it comes to change and growth, please give yourself a fighting chance!
As I say in my book…“The mantra dream medium might be unlikely to catch on, but that’s what I’m an advocate for because it allows room for you to breathe”.
I don’t mean keep your dreams constrained when I say this. As I go on to explain in that chapter, I simply recommend setting realistic goals, goals that stretch but don’t snap you.
Success breeds success. When you reach a goal you’ve set it feels great and that feeling of capability and achievement provides the future fuel for continued action, growth, and change.
What you can do: Check your goals. Are they a stretch or are you in danger of being snapped? Do they to be softened a smidgen? The Self-knowledge component of Self-leadership is what you tap into when asking yourself these questions.
Anticipating Hiccups
I spoke with a colleague earlier this week who has a fantastic event concept in the women in leadership space for the firm she works for that I will be facilitating. We’d discussed how the optimal timing would look for the 3 event components but suspected that the budget might not allow that to happen so were prepared with an alternative approach. As it turned out, the Decision Maker did turn down our first option, but as we had prepared an alternative we could still feel excited and buoyant and kept moving forward with the idea.
Bumps in the road are inevitable, no matter what your destination is.
I have naturally optimistic wiring but have had enough setbacks in my 20 years as a business owner to appreciate how important contingency plans are! Flexibility and adaptability so you can pivot in response to a challenge are crucial for long-term success and emotional equilibrium.
Without back up plans, great ideas can be derailed before they have a chance to reach their potential, and that can undermine our confidence and growth.
What you can do: Use “If-Then” thinking and planning – brainstorm potential hiccups and solutions in advance. This flexible thinking is an invaluable Self-leadership skill.
Your Identity
One of my clients has experienced a huge identity shift as she moved from being utterly depleted with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) to a healthy and vibrant woman. Another shift has occurred as she worked to become a highly skilled mentor who now supports her own clients to recover. As her identity has shifted so has her confidence. The program we’ve developed that she supports her clients through has elevated her average sale tenfold and so she is now developing another facet of her identity, that of a successful businesswoman.
As you grow and change, your identity needs to shift. This shift usually means replacing old habits and beliefs with new ideas and actions, and altering your self-perception.
Your new, emerging identity supports behaviour changes – if you begin to perceive yourself as an innovative businesswoman, you are more likely to become more open to risks, new technologies, and the bold strategies that can lead to more dynamic business growth.
What you can do: If you have a clear vision for the shift you’d like to achieve, ask yourself, “what would I do differently if I was already there?” and do more of that! Reinforce your emerging identity by reminding yourself “I’m the kind of person who ….” and fill in the blank. This is the Self-awareness aspect of Self-leadership in action!
Going it alone
Just yesterday I had a wonderful conversation with a new client who doubled her business in the last 12 months – an amazing achievement! We’ve known each other for about 3 years now, and she’d decided now is the time when she needs my support to explore how to bring her next level vision to life because she has a tonne of ideas and is not sure which are the best ones to pursue.
There are many ways we can benefit from assistance at different times in our business journey. It’s a marathon, not a sprint and none of us can have all the answers.
You might need to learn a new skill to close a specific knowledge gap, you may need someone to help you sift through, evaluate and prioritise your ideas, you could benefit from regular accountability, or perhaps a gaggle of Belief Buddies is what you need – to be a part of a group of businesswomen who are keen to support you and have you to support them.
What you can do: Practice discernment so you lean into “just in time not just in case” learning and support, exploring what you most need, tied directly to your vision and goals. Leaning into the Emotional Intelligence area of Self-leadership is vital here, so you can recognise and respond to your own needs with compassion rather than judgment.
A Final thought
Take some time over the coming week to think about your goals for 2024 and then consider if your expectations, identity, potential hiccups or stalwart “go it alone” beliefs need attention.
Small adjustments can lead to big leaps.
Here’s to a year of meaningful change, remarkable growth, and new dreams.
