When self-doubt spirals, it doesn’t whisper – it drags you under

One night last week, my brain was hell-bent on convincing me that everything sucked.

It happened fast.

One moment, I was fine. The next? Someone had flipped a switch in my head, and suddenly everything—my business, my home, my relationships, my very existence—felt pointless.

And unfortunately, I instantly bought into the belief.

I thought it. I felt it. So it must be true, right?

These emotional plunges aren’t just a bad mood.

They’re full-body, all-encompassing, emotionally draining downward spirals that feel completely real in the moment.

I’ve worked with self-doubt for years. I entwine self-leadership with business strategy because I know how vital it is to navigate the mental chaos that inevitably surfaces when we’re on a growth edge.

But even knowing this doesn’t make me immune to it.

And until I stepped into the ADHD world, I had no idea just how relentless and destructive this cycle can be for sparky brains.

•  It doesn’t feel like a passing insecurity – it’s a black hole that sucks you in.
•  It doesn’t whisper – it grabs a megaphone and yells at you.
•  It doesn’t care about your past achievements – it feasts on your current doubts.
•  It doesn’t acknowledge your uniqueness – it compares and finds you wanting.

And if you don’t recognise the early warning signs?

It drags you under.

The science behind the spiral (why this happens to Sparky/ADHD brains)

I recently re-learned something I’d learned, but had completely forgotten in the moment:

Our brains have two major operating modes:

🧠 Task positive network (TPN) → When we’re engaged in something structured, interesting, and absorbing, we feel focused, productive, and clear-headed.

💭 Default mode network (DMN) → When we’re not actively engaged, our brain shifts into wandering mode. This is where self-doubt is waiting – which is why Dr Edward Hallowell refers to it as the DEMON 😈.

For sparky brains (ADHD brains), the DMN can be an absolute minefield.

Instead of casual daydreaming, we get:

• Overanalysing every decision we’ve ever made
• Reliving past mistakes in excruciating detail
• Comparing ourselves to others and deciding we’ll never measure up
• Questioning our abilities and whether we should even keep going

And because our ADHD brains crave stimulation, emotional pain can actually become a dopamine hit. So even though it hurts, we run with it.

The more we focus on negative thoughts, the more they spiral – because our brain is hooked on the intensity of the emotion.

The four-stage shame spiral (how it pulls you under)

For me, it tends to look like this.

1. Remember – A stray thought, memory, or comparison triggers something.
   Often, it’s an old failure—something I’ve held onto as proof that I’m “not good enough.”
2. Replay – My brain leaps into action, gathering past mistakes and missed opportunities.
   “Remember how that didn’t work? And that? And that?”
3. Reinforce – The demon brain amplifies the negative emotions.“This always happens. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”
4. Resign – I accept the lie that I’ll never figure it out.“Why do I even bother? Maybe I should just quit.”

The next day, I’m fine again. The spiral felt completely real, but it was just my brain playing the demon card again. Unfortunately it often comes at a cost, interrupting momentum once again, whether being a saboteur was its intention or not.

How this keeps us stuck in perpetual potential

I talk a lot about the stop-start cycle that keeps sparky-brained businesswomen trapped in perpetual potential:

• Start strong, full of energy and ideas
• Get distracted (popcorn brain?)
• Get overwhelmed (priority pinball?)
• Start second-guessing (confidence see-saw)
• Compare yourself to others (comparison trap)
• Go into a doubt spiral and stall…

And the worst part?

Every time this happens, it reinforces the belief that we can’t trust ourselves.

It’s not a lack of ideas.
It’s not a lack of capability.

It’s the unrecognised, unchallenged mental spirals that hijack our confidence and stop us from taking consistent action.

How to break the spiral (before it takes you down)

✅ Step 1: Notice and name it
“Ah hello there, wee demon. I see you. But I’m not playing today.”

✅ Step 2: Shift the state
Put space between you and your thoughts. Move, play music, change location—anything to interrupt the pattern.

✅ Step 3: GOSGOP – get off self, get on purpose
Helping someone else, reconnecting to your why, or taking action is one of the fastest ways to silence the spiral.

Every successful sidestep keeps your momentum building.

Need a reset? This will help.

I’ve popped three of my favourite confidence-building, doubt-spiral-breaking quick and simple strategies in a free resource for you.

Click here to download a copy.

Here’s to replacing doubt with momentum!