Catch and savour these experiences

I was doing some research earlier in the week for a workshop I’m developing and I came across a concept that captivated me – glimmers.

You’re likely already familiar with the idea of ‘triggers’.

In the world of psychology, a trigger is like a switch that brings back a painful memory with all its intensity. It’s like a sensory time machine, where a sound, sight, smell, or even the time of day or season can transport us back to a traumatic event.

The term triggered is being thrown around more casually these days, which can lead to some confusion, so it’s important to understand that feeling uncomfortable or offended is not the same as experiencing an actual mental health condition, like PTSD, for example.

But then there are glimmers…

At the other end of the memory spectrum is the wonderful concept I found – glimmers.

Picture this: You’re walking down the street, and suddenly, something catches your eye. It’s a small glimmer, a moment of pure delight that instantly lifts your spirits.

A glimmer is the complete opposite of a trigger. It’s a cue, whether it comes from within or outside, that brings you back to a place of happiness, contentment and safety.

‘Glimmers’ were first introduced in 2018 in the book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation” by licensed clinical social worker Deb Dana. They are little magical moments that make us feel alive. They can be as simple as feeling the warm sunshine on your face or catching the scent of blooming flowers in the air.

They’re the experiences that bring a sense of joy, safety, and well-being, and are strongly associated with nervous system regulation. By actively seeking out these glimmers, we embark on a journey of cultivating positive emotions and experiences, thus aligning ourselves with the core principles of Positive Psychology – my wheelhouse!

Here are some examples of glimmers:

Hearing the laughter of children playing
Stumbling upon a beautiful flower in bloom
Listening to your favourite song that brings back fond memories
Tasting a delicious, home-cooked meal
The feeling of a warm, cosy blanket wrapped around you
Watching a breathtaking sunset
Engaging in a meaningful conversation with a loved one
Discovering an inspiring quote or passage in a book
Enjoying the aroma of freshly baked cookies
Witnessing an act of kindness between strangers
Taking a walk on a sunny day and feeling the gentle warmth of the sun on your skin
Standing by the ocean and catching the salty taste on your lips
Catching a whiff of freshly cut grass
Spotting a vibrant rainbow stretching across the sky
Entering a room scented with lavender or another soothing aroma
Walking down the street and having a stranger spontaneously smile at you
Savoring the first sip of a perfectly brewed cup of coffee
And one really personal one for me – the sound of bagpipes (all that highland dancing as a kid!)

What others might you add to this list?

And there are also Joy Jolts

Glimmers are a gentler version of my concept of Joy Jolts that I wrote about in my own book. These are those unexpected BURSTS of happiness that hit us like lightning bolts. They have the power to uplift us, shift our perspective, and remind us of the beauty and goodness that surrounds us. Joy Jolts inject a dose of mega-positivity into our lives and help us build resilience.

I see both Glimmers and Joy Jolts as parts of Positive Psychology – the science of thriving.

Positive Psychology is often misunderstood as simply being all about happiness, but it encompasses much more than that. It’s the field of psychology that focuses on studying and understanding what contributes to our well-being, resilience, and optimal functioning. The goal of Positive Psychology is not just about latching onto fleeting happiness, but rather tapping into a deep sense of fulfillment and flourishing in life. It’s about living a strengths and values-based life, fostering positive emotions, cultivating strong relationships, and finding meaning and purpose.

Glimmers and Joy Jolts serve as valuable tools to tap into your positive emotions, cultivate gratitude, and savour the small moments that make a good life. And this is just one wee sliver of the science, a mere morsel that relates to a central theory of Pos Pysch.

The Broaden and Build Theory

The Broaden and Build Theory was first proposed by Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson in her 1998 paper “The Broaden-and-Build Theory of Positive Emotions“. The theory suggests that positive emotions have a significant impact on our personal and professional lives. Experiencing positive emotions, such as joy, gratitude, and inspiration, not only feels good but also broadens our mindset and builds our personal resources.

Joy Jolts and glimmers lift our mood and also build our personal resources. These positive impacts build over time – a bit like cumulative interest on savings!

The resulting ripple effect on your personal resources can be significant. It might be your expertise in a particular field, your problem-solving skills, your creativity, or your ability to connect with others. It could be your resilience, adaptability, or the passion that fuels your business drive. When you experience positive emotions, your thinking becomes more flexible, creative, and open, and you’re more likely to see opportunities, think outside the box, and come up with innovative solutions to challenges.

It’s all those unique qualities and strengths that set you apart and help you thrive in your work, your business and your life.

Unlocking the Power of Your Glimmers

Discovering and embracing your glimmers can be transformative. We humans are evolutionarily biased towards paying attention to triggers or negative thoughts, but it’s possible to soften that tendency, or at least balance it out by tracking and savouring your accidental glimmers as well as consciously cultivating the environments that create them for you.

Here’s some suggestions:

Pause, calm and centre yourself
Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Envision a place you’ve visited, a beautiful destination you’ve seen in photos, or even a realm of your imagination. Immerse yourself in that peaceful scene. What memories or feelings come up that you can connect to?
Travel back in time
Reflect on what provided you with a sense of safety and care during your childhood. Explore ways to access those comforting elements as an adult. Perhaps certain foods or music, a warm embrace from a trusted person, or a self-soothing experience like snuggling under a fluffy blanket.
Appreciate a connection
Visualise someone you love who totally accepts you for who you are. Picture the ease and relaxation that accompany their presence. If you don’t have such a person in your life right now, console yourself with a movie or a song that evokes warm feelings of unconditional acceptance and understanding.
Dial up your awareness
Make a commitment to yourself to notice and note (perhaps in your phone notes or a journal) the times when a glimmer arrives – what has caused it? What are you doing or experiencing? Actively seek out more of the situations that provide that sense of ease and comfort, the settling of your spirit.

In essence, glimmers and Joy Jolts act as catalysts for positive emotions, and by actively seeking them out and savouring them, you’ll reap the rewards. For me, I believe that focusing on these magic moments of life has helped to significantly build my resilience – my ability to bounce up during some pretty tough times. That’s a skill that has become invaluable as a parent, partner, and business owner.

I hope you’ll be glimmering soon too!